Rating: NC 17
Length: ~5300 words
Category: First Time
Summary: Rodney finds a quantum mirror. John isn't sure he likes what he sees.
Notes: This was written for sheafrotherdon's birthday, which was months ago. I had a little trouble finishing it. Posted with her kind encouragement.
"So," John said, stepping into the room, Woolsey following, "you've figured out what it can do."
"It's a quantum mirror," Rodney answered, turning briefly toward John. "SG-1 found one a few years back."
"But theirs allowed for movement between the universes," Radek said. "We think this one only allows for viewing."
Which John figured would explain why it looked like a movie screen. They'd found the room with the screen mounted on the wall a couple of weeks ago but had only started investigating it this morning, meaning either Rodney had been bored or Radek had wanted to get him out of the lab to give the other staff a break.
"It also doesn't appear to have the limitations of the SG-1 mirror, which only allowed for viewing of the area visible to the mirror in the other universe," Rodney said.
"This one seems to fix on the person holding the controller, providing a view of that person in other universes," Radek said.
Rodney waved an object John assumed was the controller. "I was getting to that."
"What are the odds of learning anything useful?" John said, stepping up next to Rodney and looking at the screen.
"Like the location of an Ancient superweapon?" Rodney asked, a touch archly.
"Yeah, like that."
"Depends on whether any other Atlantises, Atlanti," Rodney frowned, "have found an Ancient superweapon."
"Hmmm," John said. "So turn it on."
Rodney pressed a button on the controller and an image of Rodney in jeans and a plaid shirt appeared on the screen. He was standing on a porch, looking out over the railing. It was an oddly familiar porch. John leaned closer to the screen just as another him walked out of the house carrying two cups of coffee.
The other him must be visiting, or maybe Rodney was visiting him.
The other John was dressed in jeans and a work shirt and looked as though he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. There were bags under his eyes.
"Oh god, coffee," Rodney said, taking one of the cups and raising it to his lips for a long drink. "Remind me why we did this again."
"Your biological clock was ticking," John said.
Rodney snorted and leaned against him, taking another drink of coffee.
Biological clock, John thought, that was a little weird.
"It won't last," the other John said. "We'll sleep again."
"I'm holding you to that."
John looked like he was about to answer when the door behind them opened and then slammed shut.
"There you is," a small boy said, just as a baby started to cry.
"Finn McKay, what did I tell you about slamming the door?" Rodney said.
"I'm sorry, Daddy," the boy answered, looking up at Rodney with eyes as blue as Rodney's own.
Rodney sighed and took a step toward the door, but John reached out and placed a hand on Rodney's arm. "I'll get her."
The other Rodney had kids, and John was visiting. John wondered who their mother was, and where she was.
The other John went into the house and Rodney stepped back, slumping onto a porch swing. The boy-- Finn-- climbed up next to him.
"The baby cries a lot."
"Yes, she does, especially when a slamming door wakes her up," Rodney said, leaning back and closing her eyes.
"Does Baffa love the baby more than me?" Finn asked, kneeling next to Rodney on the swing.
"Baffa?" John asked Rodney.
Rodney glanced at him. "How would I know?"
"What?" the other Rodney said, opening his eyes. "Why would you ask that? Of course he doesn't love Merrie more."
"But you said that she has his gene stuff."
"Do you love me more than Baffa?" Rodney asked.
The little boy appeared to consider the question, his expression so like Rodney's when he was lost in thought that it was startling. "No."
"Even though you have my genes but not Baffa's?"
Finn shook his head.
Rodney wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him onto Rodney's lap. "It's the same for me and Baffa. We love both of you equally, but not exactly the same because you aren't the same."
"Like how you love Baffa with kisses on the mouth and me with kisses on the forehead?"
Kisses on the mouth? So Baffa was the baby's mother, but not Finn's?
Chuckling, Rodney hugged him. "Yes, exactly like that."
John glanced at Rodney. He was staring wide-eyed at the screen. John could hardly blame him. Rodney had a family. A little boy who looked exactly like him, and an infant daughter, and a Baffa, whoever she was.
The other John reappeared, carrying a bundle of blankets in his arms, a bundle that held Rodney's daughter.
The crying had stopped but she was making fussy noises.
"Here," Rodney said, letting go of the boy. "I'll trade you."
"You were up half the night with her," John said.
"It's not my fault she likes me best," Rodney said, standing.
"Merrie loves you the same, Daddy, like I do," Finn put in.
John frowned. Finn loved them the same. John was Baffa.
"That's right, Jumper, she does," John said.
The other John held out the baby to Rodney, who kissed John quickly, right on the lips, before taking the baby and walking down the porch.
John was definitely Baffa. A Baffa who had two children. With Rodney. Who he kissed. On the lips.
"What do you say we make Daddy some pancakes?" John asked the boy.
The two went inside, with Finn closing the door carefully behind them.
Rodney started back up the porch, gazing down at the bundle in his arms and singing softly, "Who knows how long I've loved you. You know I love you still. Would I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to, I will."
The Beatles. Rodney was singing Beatles songs to their infant daughter, who had a shock of black hair sticking almost straight out of her head.
John needed a seat. Or maybe a drink. Or both.
"Did you see that?" Rodney asked, turning toward John and pointing at the screen.
Yes, he'd seen it. The kiss had been kind of hard to miss.
"I'm a father. A good father. With the boy, Finn, I was good. Wasn't I good with that whole love thing? But you, what are you doing? Letting our son think you love his sister more? And you nicknamed him Jumper. I can't believe you named our son after a spaceship."
"Okay," John said, "first of all, those are not our children. I am not that John. I did not nickname our son or let him think I love our daughter more, because they are not us." John pointed at his chest. "We are us."
"They look like us," Rodney said, and John was sure he said it just to be annoying.
"In case you haven't noticed, we do not live in a farmhouse--" John stopped. "I know where they are. That's my grandparents' house in Iowa."
"Your grandparents were from Iowa?" Rodney asked. "Wait a minute," he said, pointing at John again. "You dragged me off to Iowa. Where would I work in Iowa? There are no physics labs in Iowa. Unless... No." Rodney shook his head. "No way am I working at the University of Iowa."
John folded his arms across his chest. "It's the closest university to my grandparents' place, and the last time I checked there weren't any other research facilities in the area."
"You ruined my career," Rodney accused.
"I thought I made you a proud father," John countered, stepping into Rodney's space.
"Gentlemen," Woolsey said. Both men turned to look at him. "Now that we know what the device does, perhaps you should investigate universes which more closely resemble our own."
"Right. Of course," Rodney said, taking a step away from John.
"Keep me informed," Woolsey said, leaving with a quick nod.
Radek pointed at the door. "I am going to have some lunch," he said and followed Woolsey from the room, proving once again that he understood the value of a strategic retreat..
"We're fathers," Rodney said, leaning against the console behind him. On the screen the other Rodney had moved on to "Nowhere Man," which didn't strike John as the kind of song you should sing to an infant.
He slouched next to Rodney. "Yeah."
"I still can't believe you nicknamed our son Jumper."
John dropped his chin to his chest.
"They are cute. You have to admit they're cute," Rodney said, as they left the room.
"Yes, they are." He hadn't gotten a close look at the baby, but Finn was frighteningly like a miniature Rodney.
"You want kids, don't you?" Rodney asked.
"Oh, come on, you love kids," Rodney said, nudging John with his elbow.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I ever thought I'd have any."
Rodney gave him a long, considering look. "Yeah, me either."
"Thought you wanted to pass on the McKay genes."
"Wanting to and believing you will are two different things."
John nodded. "Hey, you want to get some coffee?"
Anyone else would have thought asking Rodney to coffee when he'd just made an interesting discovery was a mistake, but not John. He just leaned back in his chair and listened while Rodney explained, again, multiple universe theory, interrupting only to ask, "Hey, do you think we'll find one where all the women are lesbians, like in Star Trek?"
"Eggs with cheese. I don't know why we never thought of that on Sateda."
"Guess you just weren't innovative enough," John said, sitting next to Ronon. Ronon and scrambled eggs with cheese was a sight best viewed from the side. Although Ronon's focus on his food did tend to make for a quiet breakfast. John liked quiet in the mornings.
He was about a third of the way through his coffee when Rodney slid into the seat across from his. Sometimes Rodney was quiet in the mornings, but John knew the moment he looked at him that this was not one of those mornings. He sighed.
"John has a plane," Rodney said, picking up his coffee.
"Who?" John asked. It had sounded like Rodney had said 'John,' but John was pretty sure if he had a plane, he'd know it.
"The other John. You know, Baffa."
"What other John?" Ronon asked.
Taking a bite of his scrambled eggs, John looked around the mess, wondering if it would look weird if he found some other people to have breakfast with.
"We found a device that lets us see other universes," Rodney said. "We found one where John and I are living together in Iowa."
Naturally, Rodney made the last word sound like an accusation. John ignored him in favor of finishing his eggs.
"The other John has this old plane." Rodney stopped and glared at John. "You don't think he takes our kids up in it, do you?"
"First of all, I wouldn't fly an unsafe plane, and secondly, they are not our kids." A couple of people looked over at their table and John lowered his voice. "For the last time, we are not them; they are not us. We do not have children." John drained his coffee in one long swallow and rose from the table, determined to get out of there before Rodney could share any more details of some other guy's life.
Knowing there was another him out there, with a life completely different from his, was unsettling. John didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. He'd much rather think about non-existent lesbians.
"I understand Rodney has found a device which allows us to see other realities," Teyla said, circling him.
Teyla liked to use conversation as a distraction. John kept his focus on her, turning as she turned.
"He said you have children. Together."
"They have children," John said.
"Rodney seems quite taken with the idea."
"I noticed." For the last two days Rodney had talked of little else, which was saying something for Rodney. John had taken to avoiding him.
"You disapprove," Teyla said swinging the stick in her right hand, forcing John to block.
He countered with a swing of his own, moving forward and forcing her. back. "I think he should be using the device for something a little more useful."
"I see," Teyla said.
John was pretty sure she didn't.
"You know," Rodney said, digging into his salad. "I think Merrie slept through the night last night."
"How old is she?" Teyla asked.
"I'm not sure. How old was Torren when he slept through the night?"
"About six months."
Rodney frowned. "She's not that old, I don't think."
"She looked younger than that to me," Ronon said.
"You've seen her?" John interrupted, pointing his knife at Ronon.
"Rodney showed me. They're cute."
Closing his eyes, John hoped Ronon meant the kids and not the other John and Rodney.
"Even Ronon appreciates them," Rodney said, implying there was something wrong with John because he didn't. John wasn't about to explain that it wasn't the kids he didn't appreciate.
"I'd appreciate it if you'd actually try doing your job, McKay. Maybe use the device to get us some useful intel, instead of feeding your voyeuristic little fantasies of domestic bliss."
Rodney gaped at him for a moment, then clamped his mouth shut with a clipped, "Fine."
"Good," John answered and stood. He walked stiffly from the room, painfully aware of Teyla and Ronon watching him while Rodney stared down at his dinner.
John had considered going somewhere less obvious, but he knew whoever had drawn the short straw would find him. It's not like Ronon and Teyla were easy people to hide from. So he sat in his room, fiddled unenthusiastically with his guitar and waited to take his lumps.
He knew he'd been an ass, even an asshole, and that he'd been being an asshole for days. Rodney had every right to be intrigued by the life of the other Rodney. Hell, Rodney's reaction was probably the normal one.
Who wouldn't want to know about the lives they might've led?
John didn't, and he didn't understand why Rodney couldn't just get that and leave him alone. He could spy on the other John and Rodney all he wanted. John didn't care, as long as he didn't involve John.
That's what he needed to tell Rodney. That and an apology. Setting his guitar aside, he went to find Rodney.
He found Teyla in the hallway outside his quarters.
"John, I was just coming to find you."
"I was an ass. I owe Rodney an apology," John said.
Teyla arched an eyebrow. She didn't need to look so surprised. "I'm glad you're able to see that."
"Right, well..." John pointed down the hallway to indicate where he needed to go, but Teyla put a hand on his arm.
"If you wish to talk, you know where to find me."
"Nothing to talk about," John said, waiting for her to drop her hand before turning away.
John had a pretty good idea where to find Rodney -- ARV, the Alternate Reality Viewing room. It was a stupid acronym; John had told Rodney that. Except when he stepped into the room it was empty. The controller was sitting on the table in front of the screen. Maybe if John tried it, he'd see a different reality, something useful.
Picking up the controller, he sat on the table and pressed the green button. Another John appeared on the screen. Dressed in black jeans and a green shirt, he was sitting on the edge of a bed talking into a phone.
Putting down the phone, he turned and said, "Dinner will be here in about forty-five minutes." He was speaking to Rodney.
Apparently, the man was inescapable.
"I should call Cadman," Rodney said, walking over to the phone.
Reaching out, John curled his hand around Rodney's wrist. "I'm sure they're fine."
"Finn loves it at Laura's and you know she's good with Merrie."
Great. They were still in that universe.
"You can call after dinner," the other John said, standing and kissing Rodney.
John thought Rodney had a point. He liked Cadman, but he wasn't sure he'd trust her with his children.
"Date night," the other John said. "Just you, me, room service and a great big bathtub."
Rodney went into the bathroom, John following. There was a big tub in the room, not as big as the one in Rodney's quarters, which was more like a jacuzzi, but clearly big enough for two.
"Oh," Rodney said.
Slipping an arm around Rodney's waist, the other John murmured, "uh-huh," and kissed the side of Rodney's neck.
"We should take a bath," Rodney said.
That should've been John's clue to leave, but he didn't. Instead he watched Rodney fuss with the water while the other John began stripping off his clothes.
Watching himself undress was weird, but it wasn't as weird as watching Rodney, at least he'd seen himself naked. Rodney had broad shoulders, a wide chest, solid thighs and hips. John had once overheard Katie describe Rodney as "built for cuddling." Seeing him naked it was obvious why she'd felt that way.
Rodney's cock was soft, but the sight of it still made John swallow.
Rodney climbed into the tub first, sighing dramatically. The other John smiled at him -- a really fond smile -- and climbed in. He sat in front of Rodney then leaned back, resting against Rodney's chest. Rodney promptly wrapped his arms around John.
John stared. The other him was lying in Rodney's arms. Being held. John was always the holder, not the holdee. But the other him seemed perfectly okay with it. His eyes were closed and the corners of his mouth were curled up slightly.
"I've missed this," Rodney said
"You were right. We needed a date night."
"You're sure the baby will be okay."
"She'll be fine," the other John said, turning so he could kiss Rodney lightly. "And you could use a full night's sleep."
"Along with a few other things," Rodney said, initiating another kiss.
They kissed slowly, like they had to enjoy every moment of contact. John didn't think he'd ever kissed anyone like that.
Rodney moved his hand across the other John's back, caressing him, and John felt something twist inside him.
They made out like a couple of teenagers, kissing and touching, and John watched the entire time, eyes glued to the screen.
He was as startled as they were by the knock on the door.
The other John climbed from the tub. John had never seen his own cock from the side. It was an odd perspective. Towel wrapped around his waist, the other John opened the hotel room door. Room service had arrived with their dinner.
The delivery guy had to know what they'd been up to, especially when Rodney came out of the bathroom with a towel and an erection as obvious as John's. But John didn't seem to care what the guy knew or saw. He just paid the guy and turned toward Rodney as soon as the guy was gone. "Dinner's here."
"I see that," Rodney said. He was walking toward the other John with a look that said he was more interested in John than the food.
"Eat first," John said, putting a hand in the middle of Rodney's chest. "You know how you get when your food is cold and I don't want you spoiling my afterglow with your bitching."
"Food, call Laura, then sex."
"Deal," John said.
John could've left then. Should've left. He knew he should, but instead he watched them eat, listened while they talked about Rodney's work and John's plans for the garden.
When Rodney called Laura to ask about the kids, John knelt behind him and kissed Rodney's neck while teasing a nipple with his fingers.
"You're impossible," Rodney said, hanging up the phone and turning toward John.
John grinned and then they were kissing again.
Without the water in the way, John could see every touch. The other him curled a hand around Rodney's cock, stroking it slowly while Rodney sucked on John's nipple.
The other John clutched at Rodney's biceps when Rodney stroked him in return.
By the time the other him bent to take Rodney's cock in his mouth, John was so hard it hurt, but the sight still made him harder. The other John had his eyes closed as he slid his mouth up and down Rodney's shaft. He looked strangely content.
Rodney looked amazed, even though John knew they had to have done this before.
"John," Rodney said, voice full of need and arousal, and completely unlike any tone John had ever heard his Rodney use.
John must've known what Rodney wanted because he slid back up Rodney's body, and they kissed again, a little sloppier this time.
"Turn over, please," Rodney whispered.
The other John turned on to his hands and knees. His ass was kind of skinny and John frowned. He'd known his ass was on the small side, but not that small. Then Rodney knelt behind the other John, cupped John's cheeks in his hands, leaned down and licked.
Rodney was rimming him. Rodney had asked to rim him.
John closed his eyes, because Rodney's tongue and the other him's ass, that was something he didn't need to see.
But he could still hear the sounds the other him was making, soft and whimpering, like he was coming completely undone.
Rimming was one of those things John tried not to think about. It wasn't as if he was ever going to be with anyone long enough to try it so there was no point in wanting it.
But the other him had been with Rodney for years. John wondered who'd suggested it, if the other him had asked Rodney to caress him like that.
"Don't," the other John said and John opened his eyes. "Don't make me come. Not yet."
Lifting his head, Rodney kissed the center of John's back.
"Lube's in the suitcase," the other John said.
Rodney rose from the bed, his cock bobbing as he walked to the case. He bent over, and John leaned forward. He'd tried for so long not to look at Rodney's ass and there it was in all its naked glory. John couldn't understand how the other him could watch from the bed, could see that ass and not touch it.
"Got it," Rodney said, straightening.
The other John rolled onto his back, and Rodney knelt between his legs, leaning down to mouth the head of John's cock.
Watching, John gasped.
Rodney squirted some lube onto his fingers and brought them between John's legs. The other John pulled his legs back, offering himself up.
John stared, unable to look away as Rodney caressed the other John.
The John on the screen groaned and clutched the sheets when Rodney slid deep. When he reached out a hand, Rodney bent forward and kissed him.
"I want," the other him whispered.
"God, John, me too, so much," Rodney whispered back.
Then he leaned back, slid his fingers free, and reached for the lube. Before Rodney could do anything with it, John sat up. "Let me," he said, holding out his hand. Rodney squirted some lube into his hand, and the other John wrapped his hand around Rodney's cock, stroking slowly, making Rodney groan and his dick shine.
John lay back on the bed, and Rodney patted his hip. "On your side."
The other John rolled onto his side and Rodney snuggled up behind him, kissing the side of John's neck.
With the position they were in, John couldn't see the other John's ass, and he wasn't sure if he should be grateful for that or not. But he saw the motion of Rodney's hips and heard John groan, low and deep, like he was getting something he really, really wanted.
On the screen, John shifted so they could kiss. It was slow, like maybe they were dragging it out, trying to make it last.
John twisted some more, so his shoulders were more or less flat on the bed, even though his hips were against Rodney's. He ran a hand over Rodney's chest, along Rodney's arm, up to Rodney's cheek.
Slipping a hand under John's thigh, Rodney lifted his leg just enough that John could see everything. He could see Rodney's cock moving in and out of the other him with careful, steady strokes that made John want to fist his cock with that same rhythm.
"Touch yourself," Rodney said, but it sounded almost like a groan. "I want to feel you come. I haven't felt you come in so long."
The other him wrapped a hand around his own cock.
"Forget sixty-four," Rodney said, watching John's hand. "That'll still turn me on when I'm ninety."
"Hope so," John said and kissed him.
No one should know how they looked during orgasm and it would be wrong for John to know that about Rodney when Rodney didn't have the same knowledge about him. Although maybe Rodney did. Maybe Rodney had watched them together like this.
No. From the sounds of it, they hadn't done this in a while, let alone the last few days. So Rodney hadn't seen, and John shouldn't either.
John pressed the power button on the remote, making the screen go dark, and closed his eyes, breathing hard.
He made it back to his quarters without anyone seeing him, and dropped onto his stomach on the bed, harder than he'd ever gotten from watching porn.
Closing his eyes tight, John tried to block out the images, but all he could see was the other John Sheppard reaching for Rodney.
Rising up onto his knees, John opened his pants with one hand and reached inside, groaning at the contact. He stroked himself fast and hard, wanting to finish it. The images kept coming: John and Rodney kissing; John's mouth on Rodney's cock; Rodney kissing John's nipple; Rodney holding him open, rocking inside him.
He groaned when he came, his shudders rocking the small bed frame.
Spent but unsatisfied, John rolled onto his side. In his mind's eye, the other him cupped Rodney's face in his hand.
He still hadn't apologized to Rodney. Rodney deserved more than an apology. He deserved an explanation.
All John had to do was find the courage to give it to him.
Sucking in a breath, John held his hand in front of the chime. Rodney's door slid open, revealing Rodney in his gray pajama pants and a t-shirt. The look Rodney was giving him bordered on unfriendly.
"I'm sorry," John said. "I was an ass and I'm sorry."
Rodney took a step back and John stepped past him into the room. "Why does this bother you so much?" Rodney frowned at him as if John was an equation that didn't add up. "I never thought you'd be a homophobe. Or is it the kids? Or Iowa? Or me?" The last was said in a tone that made John feel like about an inch high.
"It's not you." John tried to meet Rodney's gaze, but he couldn't say what he needed to while looking at Rodney. Turning away, he walked over to Rodney's window. The water was dark except where the lights from the City reflected off the surface. "When I was in high school, I used to check out the other guys. I told myself I was just checking out the competition, like the girls did. I wasn't. But I liked girls -- women -- enough that I could convince myself I was normal."
Rodney moved closer, but he stopped a few feet away, just inside John's peripheral vision.
"Seeing that other John, what he had, I thought the envy was going to choke me. He has everything I've tried not to want, the farm, the kids." John could hear his heart pounding and he spoke loudly enough to be heard over the noise. "You."
"I can't do anything about the farm or the kids," Rodney said, walking over to the window and stopping within arms reach. John turned to look at him and found himself caught by the intensity of Rodney's gaze. "But if you want me, that can be arranged."
John reached for him and Rodney took a step forward. Wrapping his arms around Rodney's shoulders, John pressed his face to the side of Rodney's neck. He wasn't shaking; he was pretty sure of that, but that slight tremble might have come from him.
"John," Rodney whispered.
"I want to see you naked. I want to hold your cock in my hand. I want to kiss you," John said, not quite believing the words were coming from his mouth, wondering wildly for a moment if there was another John Sheppard in the room.
"We can do that. We can do anything you want."
"I've never... One hand job that was it. After Nancy and I split I went to this club. I'm not good at casual pick-ups and I couldn't risk a relationship, didn't have a clue how to start one, and somehow the other me, he got you. How did he do that?"
Rodney stroked his back. "I don't know."
Loosening his hold on John, Rodney started to draw back. John reluctantly lifted his face from where it was tucked up against Rodney's shoulder.
"Can I kiss you?" Rodney asked. "If it's too soon--"
John cut him off by pressing his mouth to Rodney's. It wasn't the best kiss, with Rodney in mid-sentence and John trying too hard.
Rodney pulled away and John wasn't really surprised that he'd blown it already. But Rodney smiled at him lopsidedly. "Will you relax? It's just a kiss, not... Well, okay, it's important, not saving lives important obviously, but important. Which is all the more reason to take it one step at a time."
Unable to hold back a smile because sometimes Rodney was so Rodney, John nodded. "One step at a time. Got it."
"No tongue yet. Tongue comes later."
"Along with other things."
"Oh, very funny."
John leaned in again, more slowly this time, giving Rodney a chance to close his mouth first. He pressed his lips to Rodney's, oh so carefully, and Rodney responded by moving his lips against John's. It was nice. It was good.
Both arms around John's waist, Rodney tightened his hold as their second kiss became their third. After that John lost track. He had his arms tight around Rodney's shoulders and his body pressed firmly against Rodney's. Rodney was broader than he was, solid, and John could imagine resting in his arms the way the other John had.
Except the way Rodney was kissing him, with easy, focused tugs and gentle presses, made imagining anything for more than a few seconds impossible.
John kissed back, trying to answer Rodney's tenderness with his own.
Drawing back and giving John a soft smile the likes of which John had never seen on Rodney's face, Rodney said, "See?"
"Yeah." John did see. He saw a lot of things, like what an idiot he'd been to be afraid of this. "I want to blow you."
Rodney's expression went from affectionate to startled to pretty damn happy in less than a second, forcing John to bite back a laugh.
"I'm good with that."
"I thought you would be."
"I'm going to return the favor," Rodney said, sliding a hand along John's side.
"Okay." Pressing his cheek to the side of Rodney's neck, John held on to him, just because he could.
Rodney held back.
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